The Challenge of Understanding Your Personal Style
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Understanding your style can be challenging and even frustrating at times. Whether it’s keeping up with changing trends, feeling influenced by celebrities, influencers, and ads showcasing different looks, or lacking confidence in our choices, it can all be pretty frustrating. And sometimes, we might find ourselves striving for a certain aesthetic that looks great but isn’t practical for our daily lives.
The truth is, that figuring out your style requires some self-awareness and introspection. It’s not just about what looks good on the surface; it’s about what feels real and comfortable to you. This process of self-discovery takes time and can’t be rushed. So, give yourself the space to explore and embrace what truly resonates with you.
5 Strategies to Get You Back on Track
When I find myself feeling confused about my style, here are five go-to strategies along with tips on how to catalog your outfits, to help you navigate through the uncertainty.
1. Create a Style Mood Board. I enjoy creating a digital (Pinterest) or physical mood board (poster board and glue) of images that inspire me. Ideas for your board could include fashion photos (of yourself or others), colors, textures, or even non-fashion elements like landscapes or artwork. I’ve found hanging my style board in my closet helpful as a reminder of what brings me joy and inspiration. Here is an example of a board I put together pretty quickly, using my 3 style words, CANVA, and photos off of my iphone.
2. Shop your Closet. Exploring our style can be enlightening just by diving into our closets. I find it helpful to dedicate 30-60 minutes, to selecting some of my favorite pieces and then challenging myself to create a week’s worth of outfits. As I experiment, I capture photos and jot down notes in my journal, noting which elements resonate with me and which don’t quite fit my style. For the items that miss the mark, I make a note on my ‘do not buy’ list, ensuring I avoid similar choices in the future.
3. Seek inspiration from other sources. I enjoy getting a new and fresh perspective by watching style videos from content creators on YouTube and listening to Podcasts on sustainable style vs doom scrolling on Instagram or TikTok. A few current favorites include: Christina Mychas of “Minimalist-ish” (here), “Sustain This” podcast, (here), Ellie Jean Royden – love her “Style Roots” Quiz (here), for guidance with color analysis, check out the Lifestyle Cog (here)
4. Read a style book. An interactive style guide, I recommend Allison Bornstein’s new book ‘Wear it Well’, for closet editing tips, how to discover your 3 style words, and gain valuable insight into your style choices. YouTube personality Christina Mychas recently invited Allison Bornstein into her closet and created a video of the experience. Check out “ I asked a celebrity stylist how to improve my style”, on YouTube (here)
5. Experiment with Mix-and-Match. Instead of sticking to one style, I like to experiment with mixing different pieces. This playful approach allows me to discover unexpected combinations and gain insights into what feels right, as in the example below.While playing around with different ways to wear one of my wardrobe staples, the Shon pant, I discovered that I feel best when styling it in the following ways:
Pairing it with something fitted and tucked in, as seen in looks 1 and 5.
Pairing it with a pointed-toe shoe.
Keeping the top classic and simple to offset the wideness of the fuller pant, allowing the pant to be the feature of the outfit.
Even though it looks okay in the photo, look 4 was just too much for me with the statement boho blouse and layered jewelry
How to Catalog your Looks
As silly as it sounds, taking selfies (I recommend cropping your head from the photo to remove any self-criticism in this process) and creating a style diary on your phone can be helpful when it comes to analyzing your style and understanding what you like and dislike about a particular outfit. Kept on your phone, Pinterest, or laptop, consider this another resource when you are stumped on what to wear. Here are some recent outfit combinations that I have put together using clothes from my wardrobe. To read more on how I utilize a style diary to better understand my style (here).
Be Gentle with Yourself
Despite its challenges, embracing your unique style is empowering and allows you to express who you are authentically. Remember, fashion is not just about what you wear—it’s about how you feel when you wear it. So, take your time, be patient with yourself, and enjoy the adventure of uncovering your style, it’s one of the best gifts you can give yourself!
While I agree with everything you’ve said here there is something which you only touch on and that’s dressing for your life. My style, honed over many years, is sharp, bordering on masculine elegance. I feel fabulous in wide trousers, a crisp shirt and a waistcoat or jacket. I’ve found ways to dress this look up, with jewellery and heels or down with jeans and trainers. But the last few years have seen me retire, become a grandmother and take on the renovation of a huge Victorian house – my look no longer works for the majority of my life and I’m struggling to replace it.
Your reflection is spot on. I think we all struggle with our style in one way or another when life transitions happen. For me, my challenge was transitioning from working in an office to working at home — that was, and still is – a challenge for me.
Something I’ve been pondering is how to stay true to my style while adapting to changing situations. For example, I too LOVE a wide-leg pant. In my office days, this looked like a beautiful yet more formal flowy black pant, one that I would not wear while working at home. However, what I can wear at home to get a similar vibe is a wide-leg black trainer pant or a wide-leg gauze, linen, or lightweight denim pant, where the vibe is still elegant and flowy but not as formal.
Your comment is quite timely, as just yesterday, I dove into my wardrobe and began mixing and matching different combinations with my black wide-leg trainers and my wide-leg summer-weight jeans. One combination I want to try – which I will share on the blog if it works out – is wide-leg lightweight jeans paired with a black button-down – perhaps tied at the waist – a (must be comfortable) bralette underneath, a funky pair of shoes and jewelry to glam the entire look up.
Just brainstorming here, but perhaps you could still get the same vibe you loved by keeping with the silhouette of the wide-leg trousers and altering the fabrication to a knit or something with some stretch to allow more movement. Swapping out a crisp button-down for an oversized button-down – perhaps layered over a tank or tee. Last, swap out your blazer for a knit cardigan or another 3rd layer to add some structure to your outfit – but remain comfortable for your now, more relaxed lifestyle. Let me know how you do, you are not alone in this struggle. xx Suzanne
2. Shop your Closet. Exploring our style can be enlightening just by diving into our closets. I find it helpful to dedicate 30-60 minutes, to selecting some of my favorite pieces and then challenging myself to create a week’s worth of outfits. As I experiment, I capture photos and jot down notes in my journal, noting which elements resonate with me and which don’t quite fit my style. For the items that miss the mark, I make a note on my ‘do not buy’ list, ensuring I avoid similar choices in the future.
3. Seek inspiration from other sources. I enjoy getting a new and fresh perspective by watching style videos from content creators on YouTube and listening to Podcasts on sustainable style vs doom scrolling on Instagram or TikTok. A few current favorites include: Christina Mychas of “Minimalist-ish” (here), “Sustain This” podcast, (here), Ellie Jean Royden – love her “Style Roots” Quiz (here), for guidance with color analysis, check out the Lifestyle Cog (here)
4. Read a style book. An interactive style guide, I recommend Allison Bornstein’s new book ‘Wear it Well’, for closet editing tips, how to discover your 3 style words, and gain valuable insight into your style choices. YouTube personality Christina Mychas recently invited Allison Bornstein into her closet and created a video of the experience. Check out “ I asked a celebrity stylist how to improve my style”, on YouTube (here)
5. Experiment with Mix-and-Match. Instead of sticking to one style, I like to experiment with mixing different pieces. This playful approach allows me to discover unexpected combinations and gain insights into what feels right, as in the example below.While playing around with different ways to wear one of my wardrobe staples, the Shon pant, I discovered that I feel best when styling it in the following ways:
While I agree with everything you’ve said here there is something which you only touch on and that’s dressing for your life. My style, honed over many years, is sharp, bordering on masculine elegance. I feel fabulous in wide trousers, a crisp shirt and a waistcoat or jacket. I’ve found ways to dress this look up, with jewellery and heels or down with jeans and trainers. But the last few years have seen me retire, become a grandmother and take on the renovation of a huge Victorian house – my look no longer works for the majority of my life and I’m struggling to replace it.
Your reflection is spot on. I think we all struggle with our style in one way or another when life transitions happen. For me, my challenge was transitioning from working in an office to working at home — that was, and still is – a challenge for me.
Something I’ve been pondering is how to stay true to my style while adapting to changing situations. For example, I too LOVE a wide-leg pant. In my office days, this looked like a beautiful yet more formal flowy black pant, one that I would not wear while working at home. However, what I can wear at home to get a similar vibe is a wide-leg black trainer pant or a wide-leg gauze, linen, or lightweight denim pant, where the vibe is still elegant and flowy but not as formal.
Your comment is quite timely, as just yesterday, I dove into my wardrobe and began mixing and matching different combinations with my black wide-leg trainers and my wide-leg summer-weight jeans. One combination I want to try – which I will share on the blog if it works out – is wide-leg lightweight jeans paired with a black button-down – perhaps tied at the waist – a (must be comfortable) bralette underneath, a funky pair of shoes and jewelry to glam the entire look up.
Just brainstorming here, but perhaps you could still get the same vibe you loved by keeping with the silhouette of the wide-leg trousers and altering the fabrication to a knit or something with some stretch to allow more movement. Swapping out a crisp button-down for an oversized button-down – perhaps layered over a tank or tee. Last, swap out your blazer for a knit cardigan or another 3rd layer to add some structure to your outfit – but remain comfortable for your now, more relaxed lifestyle. Let me know how you do, you are not alone in this struggle. xx Suzanne